It's hard.

Biting my nails until they bleed.

Scratching my wrists until their numb.

Pulling out my eye lashes until nothing is there.

Shaking my legs until it seems my whole body and everything around it is shaking as well.

It's hard taking in a breath, thinking it's going to be you're last one, so frantically you pull in as much oxygen as you can, until it seems as if your panting, longing for more air.

I try to find distractions.

She handed me a paper clip to fidle with.

I bent it, broke it, took the sharp edge and drew blood.

She handed me a stress ball, i pulled it, stretched it until it was no longer a stress ball,